Why sometimes we choose NOT to be confident in bed?

A guy is about to have sex with a woman. He feels excited about the passionate sex that he is about to have and the pleasure he is about to get. He talks very confident with a woman; he himself is taking her clothes off. He feels himself dominant, like an alpha male, and a woman notices his confidence as well. She definitely likes to see him so charged up. And let’s suppose that after that an unexpected happens – he can’t get an erection.

What does he feel in this situation? He was so confident just moments ago and he couldn’t deliver. Many guys in this situation would start blaming themselves, feeling that their confidence was absolutely unfounded. Many would feel that they were stupid for being so confident.

So the next time they start to behave very cautiously in bed, not letting themselves be 100% confident at least before they got an erection and were inside of a woman. They think that, even if they fail to get an erection, they wouldn’t have to blame themselves so harshly about it… Their ego would not have to suffer as much from self blaming and self criticism, because they were not so confident prior to this failure.

No confidence – no harsh self criticism in case of failure.

It turns out that we are not afraid to be confident, and we are not that afraid of failures, what we are really afraid of is the feeling of contrast between these 2 emotional states. For a man, it is an emotional roller coaster. We love to be confident, but we often choose to behave cautiously to avoid these emotional dives.

So question is, how to behave with absolute confidence and avoid these emotional dives? For this we must dig in and understand what is a true success and what is a true failure.

We often make a crucial mistake by putting value in the end result. But the end result is in fact – The End! What is the end result of every human being on the planet? You know the answer. The end result cannot be a success or failure, it can only be one thing- the end of movement, the end of action.

Each moment that you choose to behave without confidence is a failure in itself, because for that moment you pause your life. As if you are just skipping that part of your life.

A true result of being confident is not a hard erection or lack of it, the true result is living your life with your full emotional participation in it.

And the true result of living unconfident, is not really living your life, no acting in it, but just expecting and hoping things to happen.

If you analyze your past relationships with women and think about what you truly regret. Most probably you will not regret that you didn’t f@@k certain women, but you will certainly regret that you were not behaving with 100% confidence when you were seeing those woman. You will regret you didn’t act 100% for your own pleasure.

And even if you have sexual performance problems now, i promise you that in a year or so you will not be sorry about performance anxiety, you would be sorry that you didn’t just act for your own pleasure, you would say to yourself ” why didnt i just enjoy her body with 100% confidence”.