You have met a new girl. You went out a couple of times and everything seems well, it looks like you like each other. But for some reason you postpone your next date. You do not contact her for 2 days, 4 days, almost a week… And when you finally call her or send her a text message, you don’t get a reply from her.
Apparently, she didn’t like that you avoided contacting her for so long and decided that you were not serious about her. And the strange thing is, that it doesn’t make you feel bad that she didn’t reply, it makes you feel relieved.
You feel relieved because now you won’t have to worry about your sexual performance anxiety. In fact, you don’t really think about sexual performance, you don’t think about the situation, as you doing it to avoid sexual performance anxiety. You are feeling relieved on the subconscious level. And consciously, you are just convincing yourself that sex didn’t happen not because of you, but because of that woman. After all, you texted her, you offered her to meet again, but she ignored your offer.
A lot of men with sexual performance anxiety self sabotage their relationship with women just to avoid the anxiety. And some men even do it subconsciously. They avoid sex to avoid the fear. And in addition to that, they are concealing this fear to safeguard their ego, blaming the lack of sex on some external factors: “she didn’t return my call”.
Analyze your relationship with women. Have you ever behaved in a similar manner?
In order to avoid that situation, you have to be honest and ask yourself: “What is it that i want from this woman? Do i like her body? Do i want to have sex with her?”. If you do want to have sex with her, but already feeling some anxiety regarding your performance, then imagine the situation the following way:
-Imagine you are a conqueror, and a woman is a fortress that you want to conquer. Successful conquest would be – having a passionate sex with her. “Conquering” means taking action, taking full responsibility, having a clear specific goal. “Conquering” also means that you are not afraid to fail, you are not afraid to be judged, and most importantly – you are not expecting to be liked.
You are making your 100% effort to get what you want. If you failed to get it, you can still be proud for giving your 100% effort.
And if you succeeded, you can also be proud for giving your 100% effort..
No matter the outcome, we are always proud of the same thing, the effort that we put in. If the fortress opened the gates in front of you, so you could just come in, then you stop being the conqueror, you become a guest…
It’s not the fact that you managed to get an erection that makes you proud, it is the confident behavior before, that makes you proud.
In each man’s lifetime, there are limited amount of fortresses that he gets an opportunity to conquer. Do not pass by the opportunities due to fear of failure. If you take all opportunities with pride and confidence, there will be much more successes than there will be failures. In fact, a true failure is avoiding action.
(Special note for those who may misinterpret the above text: All sexual acts has to be with mutual consent)
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