Getting a strong erection, but losing it before penetration?

“When i am making out with a girl in a car, i always get a hard erection. I know there will be no sex, so i dont feel any preasure, and my erection is rock hard.

But when i take her home, it is a different story. I start to think about my erection from the begining. And even if i do get it up while we are making out, i start to worry about keeping it up, and it goes soft just before penetration. Or it goes soft while putting on a condom.

Then i try to make out with a girl in order to get an erection again. I constantly paying attention: “is it up yet?”. And if it doesnt work, i just give up. I give up feeling completely devastated, disappointed in myself, desperate and pitiful.

Pitiful because i feel i have no control over myself at all! I have no control of my erection. I don’t make it go up,  i Hope it will go up. And when it doesn’t work, then i feel that this hope blows up like a balloon, leaving me depressed and discouraged to meet this woman again”

Have you ever been in the same situation and had similar feelings? Many guys with sexual performance anxiety goes through that. But let’s figure out what is going on here. It is really very simple.

A man has 2 emotional states:

1)independent emotional state

and

2)dependent emotional state.

When he is making out with a girl in a car, he has independent emotional state. Why? Because he is not dependent on any future outcome.  So he feels completely independent emotionally and is getting pleasure from making out with a girl. And as a result, he is actually getting a hard erection.

The guy came home with his girlfriend and he is planning to have sex. The mistake he makes here is that he links his current behavior to a desired future outcome: “i hope i will get it up”, “i hope it will not go soft before penetration”. And that thinking puts him in a “dependent emotional state”.  He depends on future outcome.

Now, he cannot concentrate and enjoy a woman’s body, because he gave up his emotional independence. And as a result of that, it is hard for him to get and maintain an erection.

A man with Sexual Performance Anxiety shouldn’t worry about erection. First of all, he should worry about his emotional freedom, freedom of action, and freedom from any outcome.

Strong erection is a result of an emotional freedom. And if you failed to get an erection, think about how emotionally independent do you feel you behaved.

P.S. If you want to learn more, get my new ebook on Amazon called “Sexual Performance Anxiety:How Desire To Be Liked Is Leading Men Towards Psychological Erectile Dysfunction“